Can I really continue calling myself feminist?

I have always thought that feminism is very interesting mainly from a psychological perspective. Getting myself involved in feminism has made me understand more about myself. Not in order to understand what I am, but more how I have been shaped and why. How I have been programmed from a social perspective. This will make it easier to break patterns i.e. change what should be changed. So I am a little surprised and indeed alarmed when a male friend tells me how he feels depresed for all that feminists blame him for, when he was still doing his best.

Emphasis has been placed on "men" and not to "individuals who oppress". We women can be shown to behave similarly. But that doesn`t mean we have to lower ourselves to that level. There are many men who strive to create a more equal society. To exclude men from "our struggle" because they are men is like running a marathon in a pair of tight shoes. It may be possible but will take far too long time and is not only very stupid but most of all damn unnecessary. Frankly, time is not something that we have too much of. And I have no desire to stop calling myself a feminist because those ultra-feminists are not able to share the sandbox with the men who want to fight with us.

There was a proposal some years ago by the feministic party in Sweden, that men should pay extra tax to fund shelters for women. Because it is men that hit women. If we want men to respect us, we have to be a bit more intelligent than that. If such a law would become reality, it would be the same like saying that they are allowed to hit women, because they pay for it.

Someone who heard the story of when the sun and the wind made ​​a bet on who could get
older man to take off his coat? The wind began and blew and blew, but the older seized just tougher in his coat. All the efforts done by the wind had simply only worsened the situation. Then there was the sun's turn as in its simplicity light its warm rays on the gentleman who quite quickly thought it was probably a little hot and thus took off his coat. What can we learn from this? There is typically no need to waste energy on things that only exacerbates the situation.

A while ago I read an article about how people demonstrated outside a strip club. In the comment field, there appeared a lot of comments from both men and women. What I reacted to was the woman who asked the men not to interfere, she rather talked with one of the prostitutes women than to hear men's opinions. If all the so-called feminists would behave like this what will happen then? I didn´t ask because I was wondering. Think it's pretty obvious. It will not end well. Of course you will get a nice little conversation, but it will end there. This will not result in any changes.

At the International Women's Day, a magazine performed a study on when we thought society would become equal. This wouldn´t be done in at least 100 years. 100 years is not a time that I will accept. But I am actually quite optimistic. Due to initiatives such as the Golden Cup and other bloggers, it feels as if things are happening.

So instead of turning my back towards feminism, I hope that this blog will be a wakeup call. I think it's time to let the men into the sandbox. There are many men who are willing to fight with other men who do not really understand or respect women. Rather than denigrate all men, we must distinguish the men from "men who hate women". And yes it is not only men who hate women, there are plenty of women who behave as badly. But I hope that the attitude towards men will change so that I can continue to call myself a feminist. I know how it feels to be bullied and it's not something I want on my conscience.

 
/ Emerald Eye