When will they grow up?

Have to say that I have been quite lucky. Although that I in many situations can be quite shy, I was never directly bullied. I was simply not a grateful mob victim. I can recall a time in high school when I was alone with the school's monster in the hallway. He threatened me that he would stick me in the arm with a drawing pin. I ignored him. He got bored and walked away. He no longer found any joy in bulling me. So what is it that motivates them?

Two years ago, something happened that I didn´t really thought could happen. I was quite sure that adults are just adults. I was wrong. I stepped into the adult world and started my first job after graduation. Okay I have to admit, university years was perhaps not always the best, as some of my classmates acted like I didn´t exist. Okey what was it that happened? I started working in a group where a particular person was very clear that she didn´t like me. Clear in a way that can not be directly proven. Clear without using words.

But if one asks the question "why does bullying exist? '. I have begun to realize that it's a bit the same as who came first '. The egg or the chicken?. Well children aren´t born to be bullies. Or? Have increasingly begun to realize that maybe it is inherited. Probably not biological but more by the environment. I have throughout my studies hoped soon, soon, they will grow up. Soon they become adults and stop acting like idiots. But sometimes you are wrong. The sad part is that they probably see themselves as adults. They behave like their parents always have. As an example, you can look at the "soccer dads" who scream the most horrible things to not only opponents but also against their children. A few years ago I sat in the same car as a friend and her mom. During the trip my friend suddenly began to comment a bicyclist, who apparently had a fat ass. The mother said nothing. Not saying anything will be interpreted that someone agrees. A behavior becomes normalized. Accepted.

They behave like their parents always have. Had an interesting discussion with a friend who explained this to me. They behave like their parents, but they do not notice a detail. You'll definitely have your opinions, but adults understand that there is a difference between their thoughts and feelings inside the home's walls and open to the public. When these children come out off the home's walls, the words they emit will hit like little bombs. The words that they expose the other children in kindergarten, small bombs that detonate. The damage done here will never be posible to make undone. Is it really something that you as a parent want to have on your conscience?

But if you really don´t want to have lunch or coffee with that colleague. That colleague who behaves a little strange. Is it okay to sneak off and have coffee together with some other colleagues when the strange type will not notice. Yeah sure. But then you should probably not call yourself an adult. Or? In your free time you can completely decide who you want to hang out with. But it is not quite so when at work. Is it really that hard? Then maybe you should think about how it feels. How it feels to maybe cry yourself to sleep at night. What is wrong with me? How will you feel when you find out that that person went into the wall and now eats antidepressants for the strength to live. yes that strange type ia a person. In your free time, you decide who you hang out with, but your colleagues may not determine who they are working with. Maybe you should think about what they are exposed to. Maybe it's not you, it's a pity about. You have to remember that bullying is never okay, no matter how yung you are. Bullying is never okay for the damage done can never be undone. The people you hurt will have scars forever. At best, they process it and grow up to be mature and wise people. In the worst case, they become exactly like you. Yes bullying is like a virus.

So what can you do about this? Once you realize that these people are trying as best they can to push you down. Once you realize how weak they are, the words will not hurt as much. But sometimes it's the journey long.

/Emerald Eye